Puerto Rican men LOVE me!

I know that it has been a while since I have returned from my vacation in Puerto Rico.  I really was in mourning for a while.  I wasn't ready to come back.  I needed just a few more days to miss my children and miss being a mommy.  While I am thankful for the time I did have to myself, I get so little of it, that I really needed to overdose on it to have enough.  I have lived in Ecuador and Mexico.  I have traveled to Thailand, Hawaii, the Virgin Islands, Barbados, the Galapagos, Costa Rico, all over the United States, and Canada and I can tell you that I have never ever fallen in love with a country like I did with Puerto Rico.
As much as I loved Mexico and Ecuador, I never did get used to the "skkkk skkkk skkk " that the men do when a woman passes.  I consider myself a very open minded person and really do try to step back and be considerate of another culture and observe it.  But I never got used to that.  No matter how much time passed, I never got over that very visceral reaction I felt when I heard that from a man when I passed.  I remember crinching inside every time I approached a man on the street, especially a group of men.  I am just being very honest here.
I also don't like visiting the coast of Mexico (the touristy parts) and being accosted every 10 feet by vendors.  It is very hard to relax on the beach when you are being constantly bombarded by people.  This is not to say that I don't have compassion for the people that have to do that sort of work.  I had some great conversations with people that I met that way.  On one visit to Puerto Vallarta I met this woman from a village outside of Acapulco who didn't learn Spanish until she moved to Puerto Vallarta.  She spoke  Nahuatl.  I was surprised that between hers and mine broken Spanish that we were able to have a conversation, much less a meaningful one.  It was El Dia de los Ninos that day and she was getting Pizza Hut that night for her 3 kids.  Her husband was selling stuff too and we met him as well.  She braided our hair and I ended up braiding hers too.  Wait, what was I talking about?  Oh yeah, relentless vendors....but sometimes, they turn out to be the highlight of the day.
Any way, I fell in love with Puerto Rico.  I love hearing the Spanish language.  I love Caribbean food.  I love Salsa and Raggaeton.  And I LOVE that the men there do not like little skinny things with no bootie.  Yep...I pretty much was in heaven!  I don't know if the men notice women more or if they are just more apt to let you know that they noticed.  In the northwest, we are kind of conditioned to not let a person know that we think they are attractive.  I know that when I see a very attractive man, I don't make eye contact with him.  But I will make eye contact with everyone else and say hello.  Why is that?  I am not going to hit on the attractive man because, well, let's face it, the man I have at home is pretty easy on the eyes.  Why am I so afraid that he will think that I am hitting on him and think that he is attractive?  Part of me thinks that he already knows that he is fine and he does not need me to add to his ego. I think it is a small part of our culture.  Now, just humor me a bit on this one.  I rarely get hit on here.  It is not a matter of me wanting to be hit on, and I am sure that my "I am married sucka!" demeanor makes me unaccessible.  But I really never get hit on or noticed.  I just thought it was because thanks to my husband's constant traveling and the amount of stress I am under (I am blaming him so that when it comes time for a face lift, he will feel guilty and agree to it) I look my age.  Turning 40 messed with my head a bit and I have realized the sad fact that many women seem to become sexually invisible in their late 30's.  Just a little head turn would be nice or something!  Guys in the NW, you are really missing the boat on this one, I tell ya!
When I was in Puerto Rico, I turned a few heads.  At first, I thought it was what I experienced in Mexico and Ecuador.  I know I stick out there (I was also in my 20's) and American women's reputations do precede them.  It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with how attractive I was or am.  But in Puerto Rico, especially in San Juan, it was a little different.  I didn't get the "skkkkkk skkkkk skkkkk"  I didn't get chased down.  Okay, I did once and they turned out to be very nice and bought me a drink. It was more of an appreciation of me just being a woman who was actually shaped like a woman.  I started to walk with a little bit more of a switch in my hip.  I started to feel just a little more beautiful.  I realized that no matter how confident you are or how comfortable you are with who you are and what you look like, outside societal pressures do have a great affect.  It is exhausting to pump yourself up everyday.  It is energizing to have someone else do it.  So, just for that week, I let someone else do it for me.
I do work hard on my physical health.  I also know that I indulge a little too much for all that hard work to be seen.  And while I think women should have curves, I am with most women out there and would like to loose a few pounds.  It is especially hard on the west coast, where the slim athletic build seems to be what is held in high esteem.  Although, I will admit, there has never been a time when I have wanted a smaller butt.  I am not crazy.  Maybe I would like it to be a little perkier or firmer, but smaller,....no way!  Put that slim, athletic build ideal with a conservative way of showing appreciation for attractiveness and us curvier girls pretty much get nada.  Unless, we go to Puerto Rico!

I came home with a new appreciation of my body.  When a gorgeous 23 year old surfer tells you that you are beautiful with absolutely no irony or hidden agenda at all, it kind of stays with you.  It shouldn't take a 23 year old surfer to make me walk on air for a week or two, but sometimes it does.  We all get tired carrying our load sometimes.  We all gotta pump ourselves up now and then, so to have someone else pump you up for just a moment is actually quite nice.  If I lived in Puerto Rico, I would have such an enormous ego, you wouldn't be able to deal with me (like dealing with me now is easy).  So maybe it is better that I don't live there. Maybe it is good for me to appreciate what I have and find that validation in myself.  But maybe, just maybe, it will be good for every woman to experience that kind of appreciation and attention....just once.  And as for me, I will take it every chance I get!